


Subtle as an Earthquake

by BloodyCorvids



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Drunkenness, Fluff and Crack, Gen, this is very silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:33:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3972982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyCorvids/pseuds/BloodyCorvids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the Daredevil Kink Meme:</p>
<p>Matt & Foggy, Hogwarts Houses<br/>Because you can't tell me that those two never had a serious discussion about which houses they (and their friends) belonged to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subtle as an Earthquake

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this on the kinkmeme and just had to do it, even though I’ve already done a Hogwarts Daredevil fic and have other ones planned out. Let’s just say I’ve got a mild obsession with both.
> 
> I very much appreciate comments + critique! I'm not a great writer, so any (helpful) critique is very good for me as a writer!

It had been a long few weeks of working the O’Brien case, filled with endless oil sludge coffee of Karen’s making and more than one tearful call from their client, asking them to make an amendment to their work, and by the time they presented the case Matt, Foggy, and Karen were leagues past tired and dipping into the territory of ‘delirious’.

Their hard work had paid off (“Damn right it did, we didn’t put that much into it for nothing!” Foggy would later exalt, ignoring the fact that both Matt and Karen were nodding and humming indulgently at him), and the three of them decided to celebrate with a bottle of the ‘eel juice’ and various get-to-know-you games that they were all too old for and way past needing.

“No way, I do not fit a schnauzer more than a golden retriever, I take that as defamation against my character,” Foggy rumbled, waving a hand pointedly at Karen’s general direction. She blinked owlishly at him and grinned, her shoulders trembling with near-silent huffs of laughter.

“C’mon! You totally fit a schnauzer!” she exclaimed, turning to Matt and pushing on his shoulder insistently. “Come on, tell him I’m right!” 

Matt smiled indulgently at her and turned his head to Foggy, cocking it slightly to the side in thought. “From what I remember of schnauzers, I don’t feel they fit Foggy very well. He’s too…” he made a rolling motion with his hand as he tried to draw a word through his alcohol-and-sleep deprivation-addled mind. 

“He’s too not-schnauzer-y,” he finished lamely, shrugging and bringing his cup back up to his mouth for a quick few gulps of eel juice. The words made Foggy snort, and he had to set down his own cup and cough into his hands for a few moments before he could speak.

“What kind of lawyer are you? Not a very elo-elo-eloquent one,” he said, slurring and making a mess of one of his last words, causing Matt and Karen to burst into half-hysterical giggles, Karen with her hand covering her nose and mouth and Matt with his head tilted shamelessly back. It took a good 10 minutes for all of them to get back under control, and by then Karen’s cup was smashed by a carelessly flung hand, prompting her to drink straight from the bottle.

“It’s your turn to come up with the question now,” Karen informed Foggy gravely, motioning towards him with the bottle and ignoring the wet slosh of liquor inside of it. Tapping his knee with his fingertips, Foggy hummed consideringly, his eyes going glazed and far-away as he tried to think past the alcohol fuzz.   
“Let’ssss see…” his eyes flicker to the recently-added bookshelf, eyes lighting on the law books there. Sitting up like he’d just thought of the newest and brightest invention of the season, he looked wide-eyed towards Matt and Karen.

“What Hogwarts houses would everyone be put in to?” Foggy asked seriously, his face stating how this is very important. 

At the question, both Matt and Karen sat a little bit straighter. This was definitely a better question than ‘what animal would you be’. (“Thanks, Matt, for that lame question,” Foggy griped the next morning after remembering that Karen called him a schnauzer). Pondering the question, Matt rubbed a hand against the lower half of his face, feeling the scruff there scrape unpleasantly at his fingers. 

“Foggy, you are definitely Hufflepuff,” Karen enthused, eliciting a snicker out of Matt and a groan out of the man in question. At the noises, Karen folded her arms crossly and squinted at them. “Hey, don’t mock the Hufflepuffs. They’re loyal and patient and kind!”

Turning his head to face Karen while she was talking, Matt mulled her words over in his head. “Actually, now that you mention it…” he considered, licking his lips to wet them, “I can totally see Foggy as Hufflepuff. Probab-probably the only lawyer in the entire house,” he said, his serious façade slipping and turning into a short round of alcohol-induced giggles. Shaking his head, Foggy groaned again.

“Well, if I’m Hufflepuff, you’re Gryffindor. You’re basically the posterboy for chivalry and bravery, and,” he lowered his voice to what was probably supposed to be a conspiratorial whisper but was instead just a slightly lower pitch of his normal speaking voice, “the colors totally work, man. I mean, scarlet? C’mon!” Karen just shook her head in wordless exasperation, knowing she’d be completely baffled if she hadn’t figured out Matt’s secret ages ago. Really, the two of them were about as subtle as an earthquake. 

“I think Karen would be a Slytherin,” Matt said after a moment, lifting his hand at Karen and Foggy’s enraged hoots. “No, no, hear me out. She tricked Ben into going and, and seeing Fisk’s mother right? And she was so sure that her old bosses were doing something wrong and continued to investigate them even when she was told not to.” He took a moment to scrape the rest of his thoughts into a pile that at least vaguely represented a cohesive sentence before continuing.

“If that doesn’t show cunning and,” a hand wave while he tried to pull the right word out of his head, “resourcefulness! Resourcefulness, than I don’t know what does”. Having successfully made his point, he lifted up his nearly empty glass and downed the rest of it, groping in Karen’s direction to grab the bottle away from her for a refill. As he was doing so, Foggy gave a hum of thought before relenting.

“Actually, you make a really great point. You,” he pointed a little unsteadily at Karen who blinked at him, “are totally a Slytherin. A snake.” The offended noise Karen made sent both Foggy and Matt into a new round of hysterics that eventually dragged Karen in with them, their drunken tittering taking entirely too long to resolve into something even remotely similar to calmness. 

“The real question,” Foggy stated a handful of silent moments later, his voice mock-serious and his eyebrows waggling up and down, “is what Marci’s house would be.”


End file.
